How is Nightline here to listen? #NLBeHeard

As a confidential listening and information service for students, we provide a non-judgemental, safe space for you to share what’s on your mind and explore your feelings. We do not provide advice. The information you share with us remains within Nightline, unless: a) we are legally required to disclose information under the Terrorism Act 2000, b) you have explicitly given us permission to share this information with emergency services if you are in danger.

All our volunteers are trained students. If you are interested in volunteering yourself, we have opportunities for hotline volunteers, ambassadors (who promote Nightline within their own university), and publicity and fundraising volunteers. You can email volunteer@nightline.org.uk to join our mailing list to be notified when applications are open for January intake. The application deadline is 14^th December. 

Applications for ambassadors are now open. Ambassadors training takes place via skype, allowing students who don't live in London to get involved! Click here to find out more about our roles, the training involved, and how to apply.

Our lines are open 6pm-8am every night of term, and you can contact us in the following ways:

Phone: (+44)207 631 0101

Email: listening@nightline.org.uk

Instant Messaging: via this website

Text: (+44)7717 989 900

Who can you turn to when you need someone to listen? #NLBeHeard

University can be a challenging time, and sometimes we just need to get things off our chest. Other times, we may need more specific support. The lack of funding for student psychological services means that the average waiting time to see a counsellor is 6 weeks, although this can sometimes be longer. Below, I’ve included some potential sources of support which you can turn to if you need someone to listen (hover over the bold items to find links to relevant websites):

The Mix

The Mix is the UK’s leading support service for young people. They are there to listen and support you with any challenges you may be facing- from mental health to money, from homelessness to finding a job, from break-ups to drugs. Services they offer include:

• Discussion boards for 13-25 year olds where you can talk anonymously about what's on your minds and help each other out
• The Mix counselling service: short-term help with mental health and emotional wellbeing. Their telephone counselling service is available for under 25s. To access support, call them on 0808 808 4994 between 4 pm to 11 pm.
•  Group chatrooms: A safe space for anyone aged 11 to 25 to support each other with their problems. Open every Wednesday from 8-9:30pm. 

Papyrus

Papyrus are a suicide prevention charity who provide confidential help and advice to young people under 35 and anyone worried about a young person. Their hotline service, HOPELINEUK, is staffed by advisors who are there to listen and provide you with confidential support and practical advice. You can contact them in the following ways:

Call: 0800 068 4141                      Text: 07786209697                       Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org

Their opening hours are as follows: 10am – 10pm weekdays; 2pm – 10pm weekends; 2pm – 10pm bank holidays.

Student Minds

Student Minds offer support groups as a safe, confidential place that allow students to talk and listen without judgement. They offer different support groups all run by trained facilitators:

·       Positive Minds: six-week course for students experiencing low mood or mild depression

·       Eating difficulty groups: informal groups to provide support and encouragement to any student who is experiencing difficulties around food

·       Supporting supporters workshops: for those supporting a friend or family member experiencing eating difficulties

Click here to find out if your university has a Student Minds support group.

Student Support and Wellbeing Drop-in Sessions

Some universities offer drop in sessions. The availability of these drop-in sessions and the type of support offered will vary from university to university. You can take a look at the support services on offer on your university website to find out more.

If you need someone to talk to between the hours of 6pm to 8am, Nightline is here to listen! 

If our lines happen to be closed and you urgently need someone to speak to someone, the Samaritans are a 24-hour service. You can contact them by calling 116 123.

What makes a good listener? #NLBeHeard

Active listening is not only a valuable soft skill that employers look for, it also helps you become better at supporting someone emotionally through times of need. We hear the term bandied about, but what does active listening actually involve?

Below, I’ve included some tips on how we can be better listeners:

Acceptance and Non-Judgement

People come from different backgrounds and have different experiences shaping their views. The fear of judgement can stop people opening up about themselves or their problems. Showing the person you are listening to that you are not judging them can help them feel less afraid to open up. Listen with an open mind and try to recognise how your own background and views may influence your perception of what the other person is saying. Try not to make judgemental comments about what the other person is saying or jump to conclusions. You could actively reassure the person that you are not judging them and you accept them for who they are, if they are opening up about a topic that’s very sensitive in nature or that they are really afraid of talking to anyone about.

Listening

This may sound like an obvious one, but one of the first rules of active listening is actually showing someone that you are listening to them. That involves not going on your phone to scroll through Instagram mid-conversation, making eye-contact with the other person (to the extent that you’re both comfortable with of course), and showing through your facial expressions that you are really registering their message. The use of non-verbals is also a golden strategy, especially if the conversation you are having is over the phone where you cant use visual cues to show that you are listening.

Empathy

Many people get confused about the difference between empathy and sympathy. Imagine that someone is drowning in a pool and needs your help. Sympathy would be feeling sorry for the person, whereas empathy would lead you to actually throw out a rope for them. You can see which of the two is more helpful. Empathy involves actually trying to put yourself in the other person's shoes and see where they are coming from, whilst sympathy involves simply pitying the other person. It’s not always going to be easy to put ourselves in others shoes if they are going through something we have no experience of ourselves or cant really relate to, but we can at least try to better understand their experiences by asking questions. We can use our words to acknowledge their struggles and emotions, and avoid minimising their problems by bringing up a problem of your own that you thought was worse.

Reflection

Reflective listening is a method of communication which involves two key steps: seeking to understand what the other person is saying, then offering the idea back to the speaker (e.g. paraphrasing what the speaker has just said) to show that you have been really listening. It's also important to reflect the language that the other person has been using- this reduces the risk of you appearing to make any assumptions about the other person. You should also reflect tone of voice (this doesn't have to mean matching the tone of voice exactly, it can be closer to neutral). You can imagine that it may not come across well if the person you’re listening to sounds very despondent, and you reply in a very cheerful tone of voice. To illustrate this, I’ve included a link to a video clip of Inside Out (a great movie I’d recommend).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT6FdhKriB8

And lastly, remember to take care of yourself! Supporting others whilst we are emotionally and mentally drained ourselves can be difficult, so it's important to remember to look after yourself. If that means that you aren't able to support someone at the moment, that's okay, your needs come first. If you need to talk to someone, Nightline is here to listen (go onto nightline.org.uk for contact details).

If you’re staying tuned to our Instagram, Facebook and Twitter (@LondonNightline), you’ll see our daily listening tips! And if you have any questions about anything mentioned in this blog post, please put them in the comments.

Warmly,

Anon

Nightline Awareness Week 2018: #NLBeHeard

It's Nightline Awareness Week! This year we are focusing on what it means to be heard, whether that means highlighting what makes you feel heard, giving you some tips and tools on how to be an active listener, and letting you in on how here at Nightline we try and make you feel heard and listened to.

Over the week, we'll be posting some of the key tips that our volunteers use to be good listeners on our lines, from empathy skills and non-judgement, to questioning formats, as well as the importance of looking after yourself; see some of our posts from last year's Awareness Week around the theme of self-care if you're interested!

We'll be posting here everyday talking about different aspects of this year's theme, including:

• What makes a good listener?
• Who can you turn to when you want someone to listen?
• What projects are Nightline working on to represent students?
• How can Nightline make me feel heard?

We have also released a new resource in partnership with Papyrus, the national suicide prevention charity for young people under 35, as well as those concerned about a young person. Together we have created a leaflet for students to keep and use as a starting point for how to support friends, flatmates and anyone in need, as well as a poster for universities and housing accommodation blocks to let you know all of the methods of support open to you. 

If you want to get involved, and we'd really like you to, visit our social media accounts (@LondonNightline) to follow our week and share your thoughts and if you would like to post about it, make sure to use #NLBeHeard to get involved!

Loneliness

Some say that university is the best time in your life. But for some of us, university can feel like a lonely time. According to the ONS, almost 10% of people aged 16-24 reported feeling almost always or often alone. These figures could be higher as not everyone who feels lonely may be comfortable saying so, and loneliness can be experienced at any age.

Although feeling lonely in itself isn’t a mental health problem, the two are strongly linked (Mind). A symptom of depression and anxiety is withdrawal from others. Loneliness can also have several health impacts, including increased risk of stroke, heart disease, and an increased mortality risk of up to 26% (ONS). Long term health problems or disabilities were reported to be a common risk factor for loneliness across all ages, and carers also reported higher levels of loneliness.

Social connection is important for everyone, although people’s social needs differ. Some people may be happier with a few friends, whereas some may need a larger circle.  Relationship status, strength of belonging to a neighbourhood/community, and how often people meet up with their friends or family were all factors found to be associated with loneliness. 

If you find that you are withdrawing from your friends or notice a friend who seems to be spending less time with their peers doing things they enjoy, it's important to reach out and connect. And if you would like to talk to someone, Nightline is here to listen.

Warmly,

Anon

P.s. Here is a link to an interesting TED talk by Karen Dolva, CEO and co-founder of No Isolation, an organisation aiming to tackle loneliness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-Gil9l8yIE

Welcome!

First of all, welcome back to the blog! If you are new to this page, Nightline is a free, anonymous, and confidential listening and information service for students, run by trained student volunteers. Our volunteers listen to whatever is on a student’s mind, providing a space to explore their feelings free of judgement at a pace that works for them. Our lines are open again from 6pm-8am during term-time. For details on how to contact us, please see the bottom of the blog.

If you’re a fresher’s student, starting university can be quite a minefield to navigate. When asked how they were feeling during fresher’s week, students’ responses ranged from ‘excited’ and to ‘overwhelmed’, ‘confused’, and ‘need coffee’. With so much going on during freshers, this was not unsurprising!

If you are feeling overwhelmed during freshers, it can be important to remember to take a step back. You don’t have to say yes to absolutely everything- it’s okay to take an evening out for yourself to catch up on some reading or binge-watch a Netflix show. Some may also find meditation exercises a helpful pause to the day- apps such as Headspace provide a few free sessions of mindfulness exercises. Studies have shown that mindfulness can reduce levels of stress, anxiety, and negative affect.

Here is a list of other self-care tips posted a while back on our Instagram page:

• Get plenty of sleep
• Cook
• Write or draw (e.g. journaling)
• Talk to myself
• Cuddle cats (check out London's cat cafes if you like feline friends!)
• Walk or bike (e.g. in a park- enjoy nature and sunlight)
• Tidy
• Read

And of course, if you would like to talk to someone, Nightline is here to listen. Here are our contact details:

Phone: (+44) 207 631 0101

Text: (+44) 7717 989 900

Instant messaging: nightline.org.uk

Email: listening@nightline.org.uk

If you are not able to reach us, please call the Samaritans on 116 123.


Warmly,

Anon

Information for Students Living All Around the World

This year we are glad to be affiliated with the University of London. As such, we are working to make our service more accessible to independent students or those studying at Teaching Institutions worldwide. Wherever students are based, they now have access to our listening service and, as such, emotional and practical support from our trained student volunteers in London.

We currently offer the following services: phone, text, instant message, email and our reopened Skype Phone.

Instant Messaging and Email

The instant messaging (IM) and email service can be accessed from anywhere for free (unlike texting). If you prefer a written format, we encourage you to use our IM service, as it is the easiest way to have a conversation in real-time. Our IM service can be found on the right side of any page on our website, and once you click ‘chat’ when we are online you’ll get through to our volunteers.

Of course, you can choose to send us emails at any time, and they will be replied to within 48 hours every day of the year, even outside of traditional term times.

Skype Calling

If you would prefer to talk to us, we presently offer a Skype Phone system that allows you to talk to our volunteers as if using a mobile phone. This service is simply the audio of a Skype Call; we never accept video chats so that both the volunteer and caller remain anonymous. You can access this service by downloading Skype, and then calling our account: londonnightline.

The connection depends on the level of internet access, so if the call drops please try and call back, or alert us to this via chat. We encourage you to create an anonymous account, although this is up to you to decide. Our team is currently looking into more anonymous services that allow for charge-free international calling. We delete any contacts at the end of every shift, but you can still contact us again.

Phone and SMS/Texting

For students based in the UK, we offer a phone and text service based on your own network charges. Please be aware that if you use these services, you may incur additional charges based on your telephone plan (if you prefer a free call, use skype as mentioned above).

The phone number to call is +4420 7631 0101, or text us on +44771 798 9900.

Opening Hours

Our service is open from 6pm to 8am (GMT+1) every night of British term dates, with emails replied to every day of the year. We will be open until the 29^th March 2018, at which point we will be closed for a short period, before reopening on the 16^th April 2018. We’ll close for summer on the 22^nd June 2018, and reopen in mid-September.

To see what time it is in London to talk to our volunteers, please check this clock. 

While the main part of our service is offering students a place to talk openly and confidentially about whatever is on their mind, we also provide information when requested. We will do our best to find information that is most suitable and appropriate for you where possible.

Find Out More

For more information about our service and what to expect from a call, please check out our website. 

Sexual Abuse Awareness

Hi folks,

In the past week we've been focusing on sexual abuse awareness here at Nightline. This is an incredibly serious topic, and one that should not be taken lightly. (As with last week's post, if you feel that this post will be too triggering for you to read, please put your self care first and stop reading.)

According to the charity Rape Crisis England & Wales, approximately 85,000 women and 12,000 men are raped in England and WAles alone every year. These figures include assaults and attempts. 1 in 5 women aged 16-59 has experienced some sort of sexual violence since the age of 16, and yet only around 15% of those who have experienced sexual violence choose to report to the police.

Sexual abuse is not limited to rape, however. It can include things such as sexual coercion, sexual harrassment, stalking, and groping.

Some signs of sexual abuse can include:

• A change in usual behaviour for no apparent or obvious reason
• Withdrawal, choosing to spend most of their time alone
• Self-harm
• Difficulty in walking or sitting
• Overt sexual behaviour/language which is out of character
• STIs
• Frequent infections
• Severe upset or agitation when being bathed/dressed/undressed/medically examined
• Pregnancy, especially in a person unable to consent

As always, Nightline is here for you, every night of term. 

Yours, 

-Wendy 

Self Harm/Self Injury

Hello!

Today we're going to be talking about the very serious issue of self harm. We will not be talking about specifics of how people self harm, but please stop reading if you think that the topic will be a trigger to you. Your mental wellbeing is important.

There are lots of reasons why people self harm - for some people it is linked to very specific events and is a way of dealing with them. For others, there's no clear cause and can be harder to make sense of. Anybody can self harm, but statistically young people are more likely to. It is thought that around 13% of young people may try to self injure between the ages of 11 and 16. However, the real figure could be much higher.

Self harm is often described as 'attention-seeking behaviour'. However, this is far from the truth. Self harm may be a way for someone to communicate that they are distressed or finding life difficult to manage, but there are lots of ways to 'get attention' without self harming. In actuality, self harm is often a very private act, and it can take months or even years for those self harming to seek help.

Here are several alternatives to self-harm:

- Draw on your skin where you want to self-injure - perhaps write positive thoughts
- Write down how you're feeling on a piece of paper and tear it up
- Smell something with a strong odour
- Spend time with an animal
- Wait 5 minutes - if the feeling doesn't pass, keep waiting 5 minutes until it does

Of course, it will be up to each individual to experiment to see what works for them. There are lots of different emotions that can lead to self harm, and different ways to tackle these emotions.

If you are struggling with self harm, please don't hesitate to contact your local Nightline or mental health charity, and talk to your GP.

As ever,

-Wendy

Disabilities

Hello lovelies,

This week we've been focusing on disabilities and how these can interact with mental health. Today I'm going to talk a little bit about how physical disabilities and mental health can exist hand in hand, and what we can do to help.

UK researchers have found that 30% of those with a long term physical condition also have a mental health problem, and 46% of people with a mental health problem have a physical condition. This is because of lots of reasons. A physical disability could lead to the inability to leave the house, which in turn might lead to loneliness and depression. Anxiety and stress could result from constantly worrying about accessibility and pain.

It is important to also highlight that having a mental health disorder can also increase the likelihood of becoming disabled. Lack of self care can lead to an increased risk of heart disease, diabetes and stroke. Alcohol and substance abuse, self-harm and eating disorders can also leave lasting damage. Even if your mental health is managed, you can be left physically disabled because of its long-term effects on the body.

I believe that doing very simple things can help - such as ensuring that all areas of your university buildings are accessible to people in wheelchairs, for example. Or simply ensuring that your self care includes going to your GP when things aren't feeling right, both physically and mentally. Eating right and getting a little bit of exercise can do you and your body the world of good.

As ever, Nightline is here to help, every night of term.

-Wendy

SAD and low mood

It's that time of year again when things get a little bit grey - there's no wonder that this Monday is known as Blue Monday! Today we're going to talk a little bit about SAD and low mood, and what you can do at this time of year to combat it.

SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder - this basically means that people tend to get a little bit low at this time of year. The NHS estimates that SAD affects around 1 in 15 people in the UK between September and April. That’s a lot!

It’s a bit different from depression, as depression can happen at any time of the year and is a longer-term condition than SAD. However, some symptoms are quite similar, and include oversleeping, low mood, tiredness, and changes in appetite. Sounds like you? It sounds like me too!

One of the best ways to combat SAD in particular is light therapy - there are certain types of lamps that mimic natural daylight. Not only are they great for taking selfies (an unexpected perk!) but they also help combat SAD! Maybe talk to your GP about getting one, if you think that this would help.

Another way to help low mood at this time of year is to make sure you get outside. Although it isn't quite as lovely as taking a long walk on a summer's day, it has been shown that getting outside helps with SAD, as you're getting out in the fresh air and doing a bit of exercise alongside it.

Remember, Nightline is always here to help!

-Wendy

Exam Stress

Hello everyone! Welcome back to the Nightline blog. We've got a lot of exciting things coming up in the next few weeks, and I for one can't wait to share them with you!

For a lot of us, returning to university after the winter break means one thing - exams. Exams bring out anxiety in nearly all of us, even the most confident of students! But we're here today to help calm any nerves you might be feeling.

First things first, make sure that exams don't take over your life. You have to schedule in time for yourself, whether that be a quick walk around your neighbourhood, a healthy snack or a chat with one of your friends. You'll study better if you take regular breaks, get a good night's sleep, and eat healthily. Having a bit of fun will help relieve stress, and ensure that you don't burn out before the exam.

It's also been shown that studying for short bursts and taking regular breaks helps aid memory - get into a routine of studying for around 25 minutes, and then take a short break of 5 minutes. That way you're not overtaxing your brain with too many facts at once! Another good idea is to ensure that you're studying in the right way for you, whether that be by rewriting notes, teaching your material to somebody, or using flashcards.

If you think that your exam anxiety goes a bit further than normal stress, please don't think that there isn't anyone to help you - one of the first things to do if you know that you suffer from exam anxiety is to go to your tutor and chat to them about it. It's okay to admit that you're having trouble, and ultimately your university is there to help you.

Finally, don't forget that although exams are important, they aren't a measure of you as a person. If you have a bit of trouble in an exam, that doesn't make you any less of an amazing person.

Don't forget, Nightline is here to help, every night of term.

Yours,

-Wendy