World Mental Health Day: A blog by Jonny Benjamin

TW: Depression, Schizophrenia, Suicide

"I arrived at university in Manchester at the age of 18 believing it was going to totally change everything for the better.

My teenage years so far had been absolute hell. I was secretly depressed, suicidal, and hearing a voice that I thought to be the devil.

School and college were a real struggle but somehow I managed to get through them. It was gaining a place at Manchester Metropolitan University to study drama that I believed would be at the light at of end of the tunnel.

However on the Thursday of Fresher’s Week I realised that this wasn’t to be the case, and that in fact the tunnel had become darker than ever before.

I told my new flatmates I had a migraine and shut myself in my bedroom for the next 24 hours.

This was the first of countless times pretending I was physically ill to my friends at university, when in fact it was my mental health causing me to be unwell.

Yet at that time I didn’t even know what the term mental health meant exactly. We never once talked about it at school, except perhaps for the time we watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest in the sixth form.

It was then that I began telling myself I was “mad” and “crazy”.

At 17 I took myself to my GP desperate for some help from the insanity that I believed I was succumbing to.

I was referred to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) but a long waiting list for treatment meant I gave up on seeing a therapist. Besides, I didn’t need help anymore. I was going to move from my parent’s home in North London to my new student halls in Manchester and that was going to solve everything.

I can’t even begin to describe the despair that overcame me when I realised I hadn’t left everything I wanted to behind in London on that Thursday during Fresher’s week.

It wasn’t long before I visited my student GP.

“I think more exercise and a better diet might help. Try having more fruit and veg instead of the usual junk food you students eat,” was the GP’s response when I described how I felt.

6 weeks later I was back in this room, telling the GP her advice hadn’t helped and I was becoming quite desperate. She started me on my first course of several different antidepressants that I tried whilst at university.

Once again, this all occurred in secret. I was desperate for my new friends at university not to find out who the real Jonny Benjamin was. I was never particularly popular at school, but at university I seemed to have a lot more friends and I was scared to lose them if they knew what was really happening behind the mask I wore.

Despite having these new found friendships though, I remember feeling extremely lonely at university.

I used to hide in toilet cubicles when I was in nightclubs or pretend to be on the phone at friend’s parties. It was easier than being around the other students. I was finding it hard to be by myself, but even more difficult was being around other people.

I hated myself for leading the double life I did. Not only was I suffering with my mental health, but I was also struggling with my sexuality.

Hailing from a Jewish background, I believed it was impossible for me to ever ‘come out’. Furthermore, I couldn’t come to terms with the fact I might actually be gay.

But on a drunken night in the first term of my third year temptation led me to the internet, where I found a guy close by who wanted to meet up and have some fun.

By this point I was really quite unwell. I was self-harming and drinking too much on a frequent basis, whilst my attendance and performance at university was slipping. I was seeing a student counsellor, again in secret, but my sessions with him were drawing to a close.

The night spent with the guy I met on the internet was the final catalyst for a major breakdown.

A couple of days later I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar.

I couldn’t comprehend it. How could I have gone from being a student studying at university one day, to an inpatient on a psychiatric ward the next?

In my current work within mental health, I have visited various universities to deliver talks to students.

My key message is always the same; talk. I don’t want anyone to find themselves in the situation I found myself in just weeks before my 21st birthday.

I later ran away from the hospital, attempted suicide and was sectioned.

The road to recovery was a long, arduous one. Eventually I went back to university and finished my degree, which my tutors supported me massively with.

Looking back, I wish I never would have got to this stage in the first place.

I don’t have many regrets in life but my biggest one is probably not speaking about my mental health to a service like Nightline at university.

In my second year, I had a car accident and was physically hurt from it; I never hesitated to talk about that.

Struggling with one’s mental health at university is nothing to feel ashamed and embarrassed about.

You certainly wouldn’t be alone if you were struggling. I was amazed at the amount of people who told me that they themselves suffered with mental health issues whilst being a student after I began sharing my own personal story.

I still struggle myself today, but now I speak about it when I do. It doesn’t always take away the difficult thoughts and feelings, but it certainly helps relieve their intensity when I begin to talk.

I really hope you will too if something within what I have written has resonated for you."

London Nightline is completely confidential, completely anonymous and completely non-judgemental. All of our volunteers are students like yourselves and know that student life isn't as easy as the media makes it out to be.

If you do need to speak to someone, then call 0207 631 0101, text 07717 989 900 or go to nightline.org.uk to find more ways of contacting us.

Starting University #2- Moving into halls

Halls are the university accommodation- the perfect stepping stone between your parent's house and living on your own. All of the freedom of having no parents but with a warden to come and fix your tap should it spontaneously explode.

One of the most important things to realise about halls is whilst they are safe in that they will have wardens and are full of people of a similar age, that doesn't mean there won't be someone wandering around waiting to steal into your room and take your things. You're given room keys for a reason and be careful to lock your door- preferably with your keys on the same side of the door as you! Be wary of people tailgating you in through the main doors into your building as well- they may not be as innocent as they appear (although chances are their friend is just very late to come downstairs to collect them!).

There are a thousand and one articles out there telling you exactly what you should pack when moving into accommodation, and if you follow them you'll end up moving in with not only half of your house but possibly half of Tescos too. Honestly, the things you need can be pretty easily split- stationery, clothes, cooking stuff and fun stuff. For some, you'll be in catered halls and the cooking stuff becomes obsolete.

It's worth checking with your university accommodation before you go out and buy masses of big things as well. A lot of people tend to buy their own printers and whilst they may be handy but if you're in a flat that's right next to the communal study area, do you really need to get your own? Some halls won't let you have certain things in your room either (think rice cookers, mini-fridges, extension cords, fairy lights) so you might have to think carefully about the plug space you'll have and whether you're willing to share certain things with flatmates. If you can all chip in to buy things as a flat, maybe it's worth trying to save some money.

Many universities will release room allocations before move-in time and it's worth trying to find your flatmates on social media- if only just to say hi so you have a friendly face when you do move. It's also a good way of working out what sort of flat you'll be as every flat will be different- maybe you'll be the best of friends and share every meal, and maybe you won't see each other at all, but sussing it out quickly makes things easier. It's worth seeing if you can share things like washing up liquid, wash cloths, milk, eggs etc- the basics everyone seems to use but no-one can ever remember buying.

There are a lot of things that make living with strangers easier- as you become friends things will get more relaxed, but remember in the first few weeks everyone is a bit more stressed than usual and may be snappy! These include:

• Keeping your stuff in communal areas tidy
• Not nicking other people's stuff out of the fridge
• Washing up after yourself
• Get involved in flat social events
• Invite your flatmates to join you for uni events, freshers fayre etc
• Not making masses of noise late at night 

Seriously, nothing is worse than coming home from a stressful day to find one of your flatmates has helped themselves to your ice-cream. Three years later and this blogger is still bitter. 

Moving in can be quite lonely after your parents/friends have left and you're suddenly in a strange building on your own- so try and find a way to make your room more homely. For some people that's framed pictures, lamps and cushions; for others, it's having biscuits squirreled away in every drawer. 

Things no-one will tell you:

• Kitchens in halls are like the Bermuda triangle for cutlery. It will go missing, so don't spend masses on having a lovely matching set!
• You're going to need tupperware for storing pens, leftovers, basically anything. IKEA do a wonderful set of 17 pieces for £2. 
• Communal bathrooms can be really, really gross. It's worth having a cheap pair of flip flops for the worst times and trying to work out when that awful pukey flatmate isn't going to have thrown up in the shower.
• It's going to be loud. There will be parties (no matter how many wardens try and break them up) and there will be drunk people and people getting very friendly. Heavy duty earplugs go a long way- and you'll become an expert napper no matter which course you're on. 

At the end of the day, everyone is in the same boat and a lot of people find their life-long friends in halls. They're a great bonding experience because you will undoubtedly have something in common, whether it's every TV show ever or the fact you saw your other flatmate try and do a naked run from the shower to their room when they forgot their towel. Don't worry if you start living in halls and you don't feel like you get on with anyone- there are a lot of big personalities in the first few weeks and they die down to become perfectly normal, lovely people who were very excited to be away from home! 

If it's getting tough, remember Nightline is always here for you! 

Starting university #1- FOOD.

Starting university is daunting for anyone, whether you're living at home or moving into halls, moving to an entirely new city or staying somewhere familiar. Even the people that start university knowing some people will find it scary- because it is! For a lot of people, it's going to be the first significant length of time you have away from your parents and entirely dependent on yourself. There's a whole host of skills you suddenly have to learn or put into practice- washing, cleaning, cooking, studying, making new friends- and for a lot of you, it will be the first time you've used those skills in years, if ever!

Food

Because food is the way to everyone's heart, isn't it? And even if it's not, it'll make you feel better no matter how university has started off.

No fear, I'm here to help. We can't really teach you how to cook but we can tell you that everyone is in the same boat- and a shared meal is not only a good way to use everyone's cooking skills to produce something edible, but it's a good way to make friends. What better way to bond than laughing over the fact you've set your pizza on fire? (No joke, that's a thing that can happen. Don't put the cardboard or foam of your pizza base in the oven!)

Before you even start, try and establish a budget for food. It's all well and good to say you'll spend a bomb on food because you really love burgers, but when you get to week 6 and your loan has run out because all you've eaten is McDonalds, you'll regret it. There are some food items you don't expect to cost loads but do- cheese, meat and fresh veg can all be very expensive if you're not savvy about it.

Be wary of using recipes advertised for students on websites used by proper adults. They tend to think that students have a lot of time and energy- and in freshers, you really won't. The sudden change to early starts, sorting out paperwork and making new friends is exhausting- so don't push yourself to make fancy meals straight off! Think cheap, cheerful and quick- and if it's healthy, extra points to you. A personal favourite of many students is spaghetti hoops on toast with cheese.

Before you start university, think about what you like to eat at home and whether you can cook that. Then think about whether you'll be able to afford it and if there are any substitutions you can make to make it cheaper- whether that's buying cheese in a block and grating it yourself, making it from scratch or just not buying the ready meal version, there are always ways to make cooking at uni suitable for all budgets. Most major supermarkets have basics ranges that are cheaper, healthier and to be honest, just as tasty- they're just missing the fancy packaging. Processed foods tend to be more expensive because you're paying for the processing- it might be cheaper to make it yourself if you have the time available.

Try to cook in batches and plan your meals ahead of time. Fresh stuff tends to go off quicker than you think it does, especially when it's just you eating it instead of your entire household, so it's easier to bake those fresh veg into a pie you can freeze than worry about them going off in the fridge and having to clean. If you can, share with friends- that way you don't have to buy tiny amounts of milk, you can buy in bulk, save money and save it from going off.

If you're especially savvy, try and aim for the shops around 7pm- that's when most of the items with close sell by dates will start getting reduced. You can always freeze items before their sell by date so long as you eat them as soon as you defrost them (and only defrost things once, don't refreeze them!).

BUY IN BULK.  Pasta, tinned tomatoes, frozen vegetables- they'll all be on offer at some point or cheaper to buy in larger packets, so if you have the space, go for it. Always read the price per unit on the sales tag- whilst buy one get one free might seem great, they might be priced higher than buying the same amount but in one packet, just to confuse you into spending more money.

Now, less about food and more about safety, because getting ill at university is the worst:

1. Be careful about reheating takeaways. If it's been left on the side all night, zapping it in the microwave is NOT going to kill those germs- store it in the fridge and keep safe.
2. Don't reheat rice. Just don't.
3. Make sure things are piping hot all the way through when you're cooking, especially meat. That way you know you've killed off the nasties.
4. Use by dates aren't really there for fun, especially when it comes to dairy, yoghurt and meat. If you freeze it before the use by date, fine. If it's been sat in your fridge for a week, not fine.
5. DON'T EAT MOULDY FOOD. You might think it's ok to rip the mouldy bit of bread off, but that mould has produced toxins that have seeped into the rest of that seemingly fresh loaf. Let it go. 

Last of all, don't forget to treat yourself. Two for Tuesdays are there for a reason after all.

Love Katie

MHAW16- Depression

“I just don’t think I’d ever get depressed, because I don’t have a weak mind. No offence.”

 I can still remember exactly how I felt when one of my best friends said that to me at the end of a discussion about my latest bout of depression. I remember hours later thinking that I should have told him that nobody says that they’ll never break their leg, because they don’t have weak bones. I should have said that putting “no offence” at the end of an offensive statement didn’t make it any less hurtful. I should have directed him to a dozen different sites to show him just how wrong he was. But I didn’t. I laughed and shrugged it off and let it fester, instead. Healthy, I know.

 The thing is that – appalled though I was – I could still see where he was coming from. Before I got depressed, I had many misconceptions about mental health. Those misconceptions made it a lot more difficult for me to get help when I did get ill: after all, if I thought it, why wouldn’t anyone else?

 So, for everyone and anyone who struggles to understand mental health, here is a list of the things I wish I’d known before I had depression.

 1.     You don’t have to have had a traumatic experience or a bad childhood. I firmly believed that A led to B, which made you feel C. As a result, I didn’t talk to anyone; I couldn’t blame anything for why I felt the way I did.

2.     Depression doesn’t necessarily lead to complete inertia. The classic view of depression is of someone in a bed, with not enough energy to move. Don’t get me wrong, I had days like that (actually, I had weeks like that). But I could also go out, interact with people. I used those moments as a way of beating myself up: if I could do one thing, why couldn’t I do this other thing? If I could get up yesterday, why couldn’t I get up today?

3.     If pills don’t work, they’re the problem – not you. The first lot of medication I ever got put on made me feel like I had a constant lump in my throat and, somehow, led to me feeling worse than I had before. My reaction was to use this as a sign that I had been faking, that I did not deserve help and that I shouldn’t bother the doctor any more. But, actually, what works for one person might not work for another: when I got my second serious bout of depression, a couple of years later, I was frog-marched to the doctor, who put me on different pills. They helped. All I had to do was ask.

4. Your friends are more understanding than you think. I suffered – and still do – from a major case of imposter syndrome: nobody would like me as I really am, so I have to behave in the way that is expected of someone that people will like. When you're depressed, that feeling only intensifies; it's as if your depression is an abuser, cutting you off from your nearest and dearest. But, guess what? I told my friends, they rallied round. I told my parents, the world didn't end. You have a support network: use it. Especially in the bad times.

5. Depression is selfish, you are not. I missed friends' birthdays, nights out, celebrations and milestones when I was depressed. Each time it happened, I used it as a reason to despise myself more – and, perversely, made me feel like I was doing people a favour: I was a terrible person, so nobody would have wanted me there anyway. But I wouldn't have felt that way if I had had, say, the flu. It would have been unfortunate, but it couldn't be helped: I was ill. Once I started realising that about my depression, it made me feel less terrible about being a bit of a flake. 

Those are just five of the things I wish I'd known – but the sixth, and most important? I wish I'd known that I wasn't alone. I wish I'd known that there was someone I could talk to, who wouldn't criticise me or try to make me feel better with well-meant but ill-judged platitudes. In short: I wish I'd known about Nightline.

Because being ill and asking for help is never the sign of a weak person. It's a sign of strength. And it's about time people got their heads around that.

- One of our wonderful anonymous bloggers, who we love dearly.

#MHAW16- Domestic Abuse

TW: Abuse, violence, rape

The theme for this year's Mental Health Awareness Week is relationships, and given that, this blog post is about abuse within relationship. You may think you know what abuse is, that it's obvious, but is it really? And would you want to assume you'd notice it in a friend's relationship?

Each week, two women and one man will die at the hands of their partner in the UK. Abuse can happen to anyone, whether the person is considered strong and confident or not, regardless of gender. It can happen in long term relationships, short term relationships, otherwise happy marriages, between people that have only met once. In fact there is a technique called 'love-bombing'- where a partner is so affectionate, so caring, that their controlling behaviour goes unnoticed, masked in love- items such as refusing to let you go out alone or with friends because they love you so much they don't want you to get hurt. Abuse can be subtle or obvious, long term or short term- but it doesn't make it any less valid, and it is still abuse.

Domestic abuse within relationships can be emotional, physical, mental or sexual. It can involve financial or online abuse, control or neglect, all negative behaviours by one individual onto another- whether that's a male to a female, a female to a male, - any combination thereof. It can happen to anyone in any relationship whether it's romantic or sexual or not, to people of any religion race or background, in relationships that seem happy and contented to everyone else.

Physical is usually the most obvious kind of abuse, but it is not always. Pushing, hitting, choking- they might not leave a mark, but they're still abusive. Perhaps someone throws things and will always miss- but the fear inflicted is still present, and it's still abusive. If you fear for your safety, that is abuse. Bruises and marks may not be in obvious places or may be dismissed as simple mistakes- I tripped going down the stairs, I bashed my head on a cupboard- but they may not be. We must take those who speak of abuse seriously, especially because of the courage they have to speak out and the chance we have to get them into a safe environment.

Victim Support UK gives us these definitions of abuse:

• Physical abuse: pushing, hitting, punching, kicking, choking and using weapons.
• Sexual abuse: forcing or pressuring someone to have sex (rape), unwanted sexual activity, touching, groping someone or making them watch pornography.
• Financial abuse: taking money, controlling finances, not letting someone work.
• Emotional abuse / coercive control: making someone repeatedly feel bad or scared, stalking, blackmailing, constantly checking up on someone, playing mind games. Coercive control is now a criminal offence under the Serious Crime Act 2015.
• Digital / online abuse: using technology to further isolate, humiliate or control someone.

The signs may not be as obvious as you'd think they'd be. Many abusers are subtle and manipulative, exerting some sort of emotional control alongside other forms of abuse- claiming they'll leave you if you tell anyone, that they're doing it for your own good, that no-one will ever love you like they can, that no-one will ever believe you. THIS IS WRONG. If you are being abused, or if you're not, someone will always love you, someone will always believe you, and it's never for your own good. No-one deserves to be abused and it will not help you, and you can move on and into a better life.

The first step towards leaving an abusive situation is realising the situation you're in and that it is not your fault. Services such as Refuge, Women's Aid or Men's Advice Line can give you advice on how to safely leave and what to do next, even if there are others involved. 

NHS Choices gives us these questions- if you can answer yes to one or more of them, you may have been in an abusive relationship:

• Has your partner tried to keep you from seeing your friends or family? 
• Has your partner prevented you from continuing or starting a college course, or from going to work? 
• Does your partner constantly check up on you or follow you? 
• Does your partner accuse you unjustly of flirting or of having affairs? 
• Does your partner constantly belittle or humiliate you, or regularly criticise or insult you in front of other people? 
• Are you ever scared of your partner? 
• Have you ever changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do or say to you? 
• Has your partner ever deliberately destroyed any of your possessions?
• Has your partner ever hurt or threatened you or your children?
• Has your partner ever kept you short of money so you're unable to buy food and other necessary items for yourself and your children?
• Has your partner ever forced you to do something that you really didn't want to do, including sexually?

Remember for a relationship to be abusive, it does not have to be someone you are romantically involved with- it can be anyone, friend or family or otherwise. If someone is treating you badly, humiliating you, treating you like an object under their control, belittling you, acting excessively jealous or trying to control who you see, what you wear, what you do- they may be abusive. Threats or belitting behaviour are abusive. Being made to believe you are worthless, crazy, that you deserve to be hurt or feel bad, is a form of abuse. Being forced to commit sex acts you don't want to regardless of whether you have consented before, is sexual abuse.

IT IS STILL ABUSE IF:

• Your experiences of abuse seem minor compared to others. There is no minor or major abuse, there is only abuse- you are just as worthy of not being abused as everyone else.
• You have only been physically abused once or twice and they promise to 'never do it again.'
• You love them, and they tell you they love you.
• There hasn't been any physical violence- emotional abuse can be just as damaging.
• The abuse has not been witnessed by anyone else
• Your abuser tells you that this happens to everyone
• You feel you deserve it (you don't.)

Emotional abuse is more prevalent than physical abuse and involves making the person feel like they are unworthy, unloved or controlled. It can involve being humiliated in public or in private, methods of control including belittling comments about appearance or behaviour if they are not in line with what the other person wants, being refused access to money, feeling that without that person you are nothing. 

Tactics used by abusers include, but are not limited to:

• Dominance
• Isolation
• Intimidation
• Threats
• Humiliation
• Denial and blame
• Abuse occurring in certain situations and to certain people but not others
• Appearing outwardly charming
• Guilt
• Excuses for their behaviour

If you suspect someone you know is being abused, SPEAK UP. Ask if something is wrong, express concern, listen, offer help and encourage decisions they make. Don't judge or blame them, pressure them or put conditions on your friendship, and try not to give advice. Don't wait for them to come to you as they may not feel comfortable doing so but in the same way, don't pressure them to talk- they may not feel safe or able to. 

If you think you may be being abused, London Nightline is able to listen to you and provide support, and can also provide specific information about abuse and further support you may need. 

Exam Stress

Exam stress. Everyone goes through it whether they want to or not (and whether they realise it or not) and it can make the weeks leading up to those few hours absolute hell. Maybe you’re one of those people that stresses out loads before the exam, only to be deadly calm when sat behind the desk, or maybe you’re someone who seems entirely unbothered right until your legs start quaking under the table. However you stress, it’s fine- it’s a completely natural response to can be entirely terrifying.

The standard advice for stress is to make sure you’re spending time away from the sources of your stress, getting exercise, eating and drinking healthily, socialising and seeing the GP if it gets a bit too overwhelming. Those are the basics, but there’s ways to make even those steps even easier. Combine time away from studying with getting a healthy meal and seeing friends. Socialise while you exercise (or if you’re ungraceful at exercise like me, run home from wherever you go to socialise so that nobody sees your red face!).  If you struggle to eat healthily around exams, don’t beat yourself up about it. Make it easier for yourself and set time aside at the beginning of the week to prepare healthy (but still enjoyable, you need that in times of stress) meals. Vegetable fajitas are a good one, as are soups and veggies with dip.

Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t maintain a routine around studying. Maybe you tend to go to an exercise class once a week or you’re found in the cinema every Friday. These things are important to keep up but they’re not the be all and end all- but then neither are exams. The key is to strike a healthy balance between working and looking after yourself. If you think of your brain like a sponge, it’s not likely to absorb any more water if you’ve been soaking it for three hours. Go out, get some air, watch TV or chat to a friend and let all that information soak in so that you’re ready to absorb more later on. You might think you need to spend hours on end in front of your notes, but once it starts to become ineffective because you’re overwhelmed, you’re just wasting time you could be spending catching up on Agents of SHIELD. See revision as that perfect time to also perfect your nap technique. Sleep helps you consolidate your learning- so snuggle up with that duvet, it’s all part of the process.

A lot of stress can come from feelings of not being in control. This can be overcome with good organisation and planning- if by the exam you know you’ve done everything you need to, you’re bound to feel more relaxed. Work out how long you have until your exams and use these dates to plan in a deadline. Spread your revision out over those days and it’ll seem like much less work than if you cram it all in last minute. Break your exams down- where are the marks allocated? There’s no point revising something you don’t understand if it’s worth two marks and you could be nailing those two marks if you revise something you do know. You can’t learn everything, much as we’d all like to. Split your revision up by topic and try and do different topics each day- that way if you’re struggling with something, it’s only a matter of time before you can move onto something else that you do understand.

Make use of your lecturers, classmates and tutors. They’re at university to help you learn or to learn themselves, and teaching is one of the best methods to do so- so ask them to teach you. It might just be that hearing it said in someone else’s voice is enough to get it stuck in your head. Perhaps they have a memorable accent or like to make it into funny songs. Maybe they have a really random way of thinking that just suits you better- whatever it is, it’s worth finding out if they can help.

Don’t set yourself ridiculous amounts of work and cut out all fun things. Nobody can work for ten hours a day no matter what they claim- and the people who sit in libraries for ten hours just keep those seats warm for a really long time and don’t actually achieve that much. They also terrify those of us who are actually get stuff done, which is entirely unproductive because hey, we’re getting stuff done. Then again, if you actually can work for ten hours solid, well done you- but go for a swim afterwards or watch a movie because your brain will need a rest. Nobody is impervious to burnout, not even the medics who basically live in the library.

And finally, remember these (and I’m a medic, so I can’t lie):

-          Exams aren’t everything. Retakes are a thing, employers won’t look at your marks, and grades don’t define who you are. Maybe you’re an excellent pianist, but you can’t see that on a biology paper. Perhaps you’re an amazing volunteer or the kindest person to have ever walked the Earth, but that won’t show up on a maths test.

-          Think about how far you’ve come. You’re at university! You have a 100% success rate for days lived! You have made it through those awkward teenage years! You’re living in an age where your tweets will never be as weird as Kanye West’s!

You got this.

LOVE KATIE XOXOXOXOXO

Mental health and art

It is hard enough trying to acknowledge to yourself that you are struggling, that you think you may need help- and that's with being able to experience your own feelings and try to make sense of them. Explaining them, getting them out in a way that makes sense and articulates what you're feeling to someone else, is even harder. Armed with a dictionary, there are still never going to be enough words to convey the nuances of what you're feeling sometimes- so many turn to art.

Art is an easy way to convey feelings because whilst people may not have time for a conversation, they have 10 seconds to look at a comic. You don't have to leave the house or see anyone face to face to show how you're doing. There is more humanity, more chances to relate to a picture than to words that can be very exacting and not open to interpretation.

It's a way to express yourself without ever having to say anything to anyone. It can be anything you want in any form you like, whether that's paint or pencil or sculpture or food. Many turn to dance or music. Art in general is about interpretation- so you can convey everything you want in the way that you want. You don't have to worry about offending people, or worrying people, or anything like that- it's entirely for you. It's a really good way to work through what you're thinking about and to stimulate your mind into thinking deeper around it, but safely. You don't have to find the words, nothing has to be exact.

It doesn't even need to be any kind of problem that leads you to art. Many feel that art allows them to express any feelings they may have whether these are positive or negative. Art is a way to communicate without having to be constrained by words.

Some of the blogs that Nightline likes to help explain mental health include:

Ruby Etc - Ruby has often created the cartoons for both Mind, the mental health charity, and Buzzfeed Mental Health week. She can be found on both tumblr and twitter.

Beth Evans Art

Toby Allen 

Robot Hugs

As ever, if you'd like to talk about any issues you may have, please phone Nightline and chat it through with us :)

LOVE KATIE.

Sleep deprivation and what it does to you.

As students, it's well known we often go without sleep. Hardly a teen movie goes past without a mention of the dreaded all-nighter, whether it's for coursework, essays or revision. As young adults we're often classed as lazy, expected to sleep well into the afternoon if left to our own devices- but it's not true. We have 9am lectures, 10am seminars, and then we're expected to run till late into the night or early morning to make the most of the 'university experience' whether that's through sports or clubbing or extra-curriculars. Heap on top of that the sheer amount of work lecturers expect you to do, and you're left with not enough hours in the day- and sleep is the easiest thing to sacrifice.

People aged 18-25 should be aiming for around 7-8 hours of sleep a night. With work and play and potentially even mental health all feeding into it, only 15% of us manage it regularly.

The consequences of even a tiny lack of sleep can be horrific- so listen up!

1. A lower stress threshold. When you're already in a stressful environment, being more susceptible to stress is never going to be helpful. Tiny things like going to the shops, getting dressed for lectures, meeting a friend can suddenly seem insurmountable.

2. Increased mood changes. Tiny little things become the most annoying things ever when you're tired. Dropped your toast? Why don't you cry over it, your tired brain tells you. You're suddenly having to put energy you don't have into keeping yourself going and some things are bound to slip. It takes effort to stay happy and sociable, and being tired makes it much more difficult.

3. Decreased memory capacity. Deep sleep fosters the formation of connections between neurons, and REM sleep aids in memory formation. An all-nighter really is a silly option when you consider that all the revision you've already done could slip, and nothing you learn during the night will stick if you don't sleep on it afterwards. Studies have shown sleep deprived people have less long and short term memory skills than those who have slept for longer periods of time.

4. Difficulty concentrating. If all your power is going into keeping your eyes open and your brain on, less is available for paying attention. For the same reason we want well rested doctors and teachers, you need to be awake, properly awake, to understand and process what's going on around you. Without sleep, fine details are often missed- whether that's remembering to add sodium hydroxide to your flask or finishing off painting the end of the piece. Just an hour of lost sleep decreases your alertness by up to 32%.

5. General slowness. Everyone's experienced the way the day lags when you're tired, but you do, too. You think slower, you write slower, you react slower. Not the most useful for when you're trying to scribble down notes or answer exam questions or get a delicate experiment finished. It takes you longer to brush your teeth, to cross the road, to do anything.

6. Increased food consumption. Not the best for the student on a budget, missing out sleep makes you hungrier (because you need to get that energy somewhere). You also lose the pleasure response to eating food, so your brain tells you that you need to eat more until you're happy and satisfied. It increases your body's need for high levels of fat and carbohydrate, which are more likely to make you gain weight if they're not part of a balanced diet.

7. Increased risk of accidents. Sleep deprivation is the #2 cause of automobile death in under 25s (second only to drink driving.) Your reaction time is slower and you're more likely to fall asleep at the wheel. Sleep deprivation is the #1 overall cause of workplace accidents.

You might think you can adapt to lack of sleep. But I've always slept for 5 hours! I hear you cry. The thing is, after a while of not sleeping, you lose the ability to gauge whether your judgement is impaired and you're sleep deprived. In the chronically sleep deprived, it can lead to similar symptoms to being drunk- and we've all heard of the consequences alcohol can have, we're uni students.

So sleep well. Turn your computer off, put your phone away, read a book and have a hot drink. Have a hot bath or shower before you sleep, because the temperature change between hot water and room temperature makes you sleepy. Make sleep just as an important part of your revision schedule as revising. If you're having trouble sleeping, try exercising to tire yourself out. If you're still having trouble, consider seeing your GP.